At war with myself, once again, as I try to collect my thoughts and pray..
So, what’s supposed to happen is I come home, I am with my family – diner, catching up, preparing for tomorrow, and prayer time – then I retire to my bedroom with my husband where we relax, make love, delegate orders to the children to hurry the up, read, and pray.
The whole time, I am preparing to sit with my Lord.. praying, as you will, in a sort of preparatory way. Preparatory prayer.. preparing to sit and be with God, and think, live, breathe singularly for Him. No other thoughts, no other concerns.. focus.
Yet here, I am, dangerously past my bedtime, typing up .. whatever, because I hung around Twitter and chilled with Catholic friends. Because I’m stubborn and want to bookmark this day. In a moment I will depart to sit with Him, shed my tears, and (happily) have the less sleep for it. Boo!
I will try again tomorrow. This time, it will work because we’re going to a movie tomorrow… and I will prepare a little more devoutly throughout the day.
My Day Routine
God has given me the grace to keep up with the Divine Office during the day – it just happens to fit in with the breaks I receive – so, that’s very helpful in preparing for my Day-end prayer with my Lord and King. (Thank you, Jesus)
Tomorrow, I’ll take care of my work promptly like I did today (doing what is right, not neglecting my vocation.. doing God’s Holy Will), rather than doing it after prayer, or after I read something holy, or doing a spiritual something to help me throughout the day. It was a no-brainer and a joy… to be continued! In fact.. I shall even prepare for next week..
After this, I will find time to fit in more of my beloved, solid reading, which will replace my fits of checking in on social media.
The mind needs to be steady, you see.. and exposing my heart, mind, and soul to whatever happens to cross my timeline.. it doesn’t work, I’m afraid.
I shut off my laptop, cover my head, begin reading a chapter from a beloved holy book by Marmion.. lull my mind into focus.. pick up the New Testament, read St. Paul.. then when I am recollected enough, transition to mediating on Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Today is the Feast Day of the Espousal of Mary and Joseph, and I was going to tell a little story about my marriage, how it came to be, and how God took care of it for me.
But.. I always say that a Feast Day for a saint or celebration is not enough for me. I may come back later and tell it.
Not now. My Lord calls. For the moment, I have won a little battle with myself.
AMDG. Feast of the Holy Espousals.